The Fantasy Awards
by Twin Blades
Summary: Who's the best male lead? Or most sophisticated lady? Perhaps find out who's the coolest bad ass? Watch as our fave FF7-10 characters get awarded the titles they truly deserve. Participate in this huge event brought to you by Phoenix Blade & Angelwhispher


Disclaimer: We do not own FF as much as we want to, they belong to Squaresoft :(  
  
The Fantasy Awards: Chapter 1  
  
*Music starts up*  
  
Two mystery figures appear on the stage as smoke emits from the sides.  
  
?: Cough cough *fans the smoke away*  
  
??: Be professional, Phoenix!  
  
Phoenix: I'm trying!  
  
??: *Clears throat* Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 654th annual Fantasy Awards!  
  
Phoenix: Yep, I'm Phoenix and she's Angel and we're your worst nightmares!!  
  
Angel: Tonight we bring you the Best Freaks of nature Award,  
  
Phoenix: The Best Lil' Miss Hyper Award,  
  
Angel: And not forgetting, the Best Miss Sophisticated Award and lots more!  
  
Phoenix: But first let's introduce the stars of tonight's show,  
  
Angel: First up, we have Zell Dincht all the way from Balamb!  
  
Zell: *Comes out doing backflip and stuff*  
  
Angel: Oh great, here he goes swatting flies again...  
  
Zell: Who's da man!  
  
Phoenix: *mutters* Definitely not you...  
  
Angel: Go get a hotdog!  
  
Zell: Hey-  
  
Phoenix: *interrupts* Next we have Wakka all the way from Besaid!  
  
Angel: Watch out, his hair has been classified as a highly dangerous weapon!  
  
Wakka: *sniffs* I love my hair, ya?  
  
Angel: *nods*  
  
Phoenix: *Evil grin* We all know that.  
  
Wakka: WAAHHH!!!!  
  
Angel: *Pushes him away*  
  
Phoenix: Next we have Vincent! Our sexy goth! *drools*  
  
Angel: *Dreamy eyes*  
  
Vincent: *Stands there for 3 seconds and walks to his seat*  
  
Angel: *still in a daze*  
  
Phoenix: *nudges Angel and whispers* Hey, it's your line...  
  
Angel: Oh! Umm...Put your hands together for Quina!  
  
Quina: *Looks for food* Ooo frogs! *Points at Angel and Phoenix*  
  
Phoenix: Uh oh, why do I have a bad feeling about this?  
  
Quina: *Makes a beeline towards them*  
  
Angel & Phoenix: AAAHHHHHH!!! *Runs around the place getting chased by a deranged sheman*  
  
Angel: *Yells* Security!  
  
Two grim reaper look-alikes emerged from the stage floor, seized Quina and imprisoned her in a cage.  
  
Phoenix: Phew, I knew we shouldn't have worn that Kermit coat *throws down the coat* stupid fashion designer...  
  
Fashion Designer backstage: Hey!  
  
Angel: Well, let's continue shall we? *takes off coat* Next is *grins at Phoenix* Seifer!  
  
Phoenix: AHHH!! I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming! Ooo he's so cute close up! Oh my, the joy! I'm gonna faint! *Faints*  
  
Seifer: Is she okay? *Smirks* I always knew I had killer good looks.  
  
Angel: Seifer, give her CPR.  
  
Seifer: Erm...I dunno how to...  
  
Angel: Grr...you dimwit...never mind. Ooo, I would show you if Tidus was here.  
  
Seifer: O...k...I'll just be at my seat then...  
  
Angel: Whatever, next up is...erm...Phoenix?  
  
Phoenix: *Still unconscious*  
  
Angel: Right, next we have Squall Leonhart, commander of the elite force also known as SeeD...  
  
Squall: *Walks out and attempts to get to his seat quickly*  
  
Angel: *Steps in front of him* Um, hiya Squall, oh hyne I love you!  
  
Squall: *Raises one eyebrow*  
  
Phoenix: *Wakes up* Whoa! Squall!!!!!!! AHH, I'm on fantasy island!! *Faints again*  
  
Squall: *Frowns and walks to his seat*  
  
Angel: OMG!! Wake up Phoenix, it's Tidus!  
  
Phoenix: *Slowly opens eyes* Yeah, yeah, I'm awake...  
  
Tidus: Hi?  
  
Angel: Erm...ah...er...um...eh...  
  
Phoenix: Translation - OMG! You're so cute! I think about you everyday, I dream about you every night, I have your pictures pasted all over my room, no I have them as my wallpaper!  
  
Tidus: *Smiles* Whoa, thanks baby!  
  
Angel: *Can't stop blushing and giggling*  
  
Tidus: *Takes his seat while Angel gets comfortable on his lap*  
  
Phoenix: Now that we've got most of the hotties out *winks at Seifer* let's bring on the babes! First up is Quistis Trepe!  
  
Angel: Uh huh.  
  
Phoenix: *Gives Angel that hey-we've-got-a-show-to-host look*  
  
Angel: Oh alright *Gets back on the stage* She's fine, she's smart and even has her own fan club!  
  
Quistis: It's a pleasure to be here. *smiles and walks to her seat*  
  
Phoenix: Everybody, now let's welcome the thong wearing, eidolon summoning princess!  
  
Angel: Garnet Til Alexandros 17th!!  
  
Garnet: ???  
  
Voice from backstage: Is it my turn to come out yet?  
  
Phoenix: No not yet, Seymour!  
  
Angel: Now let us welcome the Ancient who hears "the planet"...  
  
Phoenix: Aeris Gainsborough! Everyone's favorite little Ancient who kicked meteor's ass!  
  
Aeris: Hello, it is a great honor to be a part of such a sweet show.  
  
Phoenix: *Sweatdrop* Riiiight, next we have Lulu!  
  
Lulu: I will not be a part of this parade of bimbos.  
  
Angel: *Rolls eyes* Are those real?  
  
Wakka: Yeah baby!  
  
Everyone present stares at him.  
  
Lulu: *Hisses* Wakka!  
  
Phoenix: To save us from the horror, let's bring in the ever-lovely Rinoa Heartilly!!  
  
Angel: Here is our favorite father hating, Squall taming, turns out evil, little sorceress!  
  
Squall: *Shoots Angel an odd look*  
  
Angel: *Blows him a kiss*  
  
Rinoa: It's so much fun to be here! Oh hey Seifer!  
  
Seifer: *Grins*  
  
Squall: Hey!  
  
Phoenix: *Glares at Squall* Seinoa all the way, hehe!  
  
Rinoa: * Kisses Squall on the cheek and takes her seat between Seifer and him*  
  
Squall: *Smiles*  
  
Phoenix: Awww!  
  
Voice from backstage: Can I come out now?  
  
Angel: Shut up, Seymour!  
  
Phoenix: Now it's time for the kick ass babe, Tifa Lockhart!  
  
Tifa: Umm...where's Cloud? And Seymour you better not have him!  
  
Seymour: ...  
  
Cloud runs out screaming and hides behind Tifa.  
  
Phoenix: I'm getting goosebumps...  
  
Angel: So am I...  
  
Phoenix: *Regains composure* Well, err, there we have him, the FF7 hero!  
  
Angel: Yep, welcome the sweet loving couple of FF7!  
  
Phoenix: Next, let's bring out Yuna!  
  
Angel: Here now is the beautiful summoner, who still follows after her "dream"...  
  
Yuna: For the people who have lost their lives and for the dreams that have faded, I hope you will remember them. *Spots Tidus* You're still alive! O thank ye holy Yevon! *Jumps onto his lap*  
  
Angel: Damn...security!  
  
The two grim reaper look-alikes appear again.  
  
Phoenix: Umm...Angel, you can't do that, she's one of our nominees remember?  
  
Angel: Fine then! Oh and Tidus? You're gonna lose another fan girl!  
  
Tidus: But hey-  
  
Angel: No buts! Next we have Eiko Carol!  
  
Phoenix: With her energetic attitude and obsession with Zidane who wouldn't love her?  
  
Angel: Hehe, not forgetting her cute little horn too!  
  
Eiko: *Giggles* Thanks Phoenix, thanks Angel!  
  
Angel & Phoenix: Awww!  
  
Phoenix: Now put your hands together everybody for...Yuffie!  
  
Yuffie: I only came here for the reward! And it better be materia!!  
  
Seymour: Is it my turn now?  
  
Angel: *Ignores* Now it is time for our giddy little cowgirl pilot to make her entrance!  
  
Selphie: Booyaka! I'm gonna make Irvy so proud!  
  
Phoenix: *Whispers to Angel* She's still into him?  
  
Angel: *Whispers back* Unbelievable!  
  
Phoenix: *Clears throat* Next up is the spunky green-eyed Al Bhed, Rikku!  
  
Angel: Watch your back when she's around or you might find your valuables missing!  
  
Squall grabs his necklace, Rinoa grabs her rings, Quistis grabs her Save the Queen, Seifer yawns, Yuna grabs Tidus, Angel growls, Cloud continues sobbing and Garnet grabs her thong.  
  
Phoenix: Hmm...right...next we have Freya Crescant.  
  
Angel: This red coat wearing, bunny-looking gal is not one to be trifled with!  
  
Freya: *Frowns* ...  
  
Phoenix: *Whispers to Angel* Aaaahhhhhh! Beware of Squall no.2!  
  
Angel: *Giggles* Now let's welcome all the way from Lindblum, Zidane Tribal!  
  
Phoenix: He's tall *cough* compared to a dwarf *cough*, he's strong *cough* compared to a bitebug *cough*, he's- huh? Where's he?  
  
Spotlight shines onto Zidane leaning over Lulu.  
  
Zidane: How does you, me and making out on my bed sound?  
  
*KA POW*  
  
Lulu: Grr...I hate it when men speak to my boobies instead of my face. It's like they have a life of their own!  
  
Angel: Everybody run for your lives! She's gonna cast Ultima!  
  
Suddenly a mysterious bursts in.  
  
???: Kurse all SeeDs!  
  
Phoenix: Hey Ulty! It isn't your turn yet!  
  
Ultimecia: *Whines* But I don't wanna stay in there! There's a kreepy man with blue hair like baby giraffes grazing on it in there!  
  
Angel: *Whispers to Phoenix* Did you understand what she just said?  
  
Phoenix: *Whispers back* Hmm, I think she meant Seymour...  
  
Seymour: *Pops head in* My turn now?  
  
Angel: Fine, fine.  
  
Ultimecia: *Starts shrieking* Aaah it's the boogey man!!  
  
Phoenix: Umm...guys, guys, settle down!  
  
Ultimecia: I demand to be rekognized as a lady!  
  
Angel: With that outfit I thought you were a hooker!  
  
Phoenix: *Covers ears* Uh oh, she's gonna start whining again.  
  
Everyone takes out their earplugs.  
  
Angel: Security! Keep her in a soundproof cage!  
  
The grim reaper look-alikes emerged from the shadows and locked her in the cage.  
  
Phoenix: Phew, be gone with the horror.  
  
Seymour: Hmm, where should I sit?  
  
Angel: *Grins* By my baby.  
  
Seymour walks over to Tidus and sits besides him.  
  
Seymour: *Looks at Yuna* Hey your legs are on my seat!  
  
Yuna: *Pouts* Fine I'll get off!  
  
Tidus: *Rubs his sore laps*  
  
Angel: *Whispers* She must weigh a ton!  
  
Phoenix: *Nods*  
  
Angel: To get thing going, let's bring out Vivi!  
  
Phoenix: He's everyone's favorite adorable little black mage!  
  
Vivi toddles out, stops, glances around at everyone and toddles to his seat.  
  
Phoenix: Aww...he's so adorable!  
  
Angel: You are just a little doll, Vivi! *Whispers to Phoenix* Maybe he can do a spell for us...  
  
Phoenix: *Whispers back* Yup, we'll keep that in mind!  
  
The lights dim as the Cosmo Canyon is being played. A vague figure walks out on to the stage and howls.  
  
Phoenix & Angel: *Stares*  
  
Angel: Somebody turn on the lights!  
  
The spotlight is shone onto...RedXIII!  
  
Phoenix: Hey! How did you get the backstage crew to dim the lights for ya?  
  
Angel: Yeah, it isn't in the script!  
  
RedXIII: Err...:S  
  
Phoenix: Never mind, just get to your seat.  
  
Angel: Next up we have...  
  
Suddenly, lots of moogles started to rain down.  
  
Mysterious voice: Grr...grr...grrrrrr, Godzilla has returned!  
  
Angel: Oh no, there goes Tokyo, Godzilla!  
  
Selphie: Umm...what's a Godzilla?  
  
Seifer: Man, have you been living in a cave for the past decade?  
  
Selphie: *Grumbles*  
  
Phoenix: *Rolls eyes* Oh gosh Caith Sith that is sooooo scary!  
  
Caith Sith: Really?  
  
Phoenix: No, not really.  
  
Angel: Well, there you have them, Caith Sith and the moogles!  
  
Phoenix: Guess this is the end of our first chapter and introduction part 1!  
  
Angel: Yup, readers please drop a review to tell us how we're doing.  
  
Phoenix: And leave any suggestions you may have in your reviews too! ^_~  
  
Angel: Thanks everybody for taking your time to attend our awards ceremony.  
  
Phoenix: We would be bringing out more of your favorite stars in the next chapter.  
  
Angel: So don't forget to stay tune!  
  
Phoenix: Buh bye everybody! 


End file.
